Happy New Year! Get To Work!

I should have known, or at least suspected, that the first working day of the new year would be much too busy to even attempt to write (or to blog, for that matter). I just hope this isn't a sign of how things will be all year. I'm not too worried yet, although I was warned the other day that I would have "increased responsibility" on all my assigned projects; but I think what that really means is that CAG got fed up with people who, because of either comfort or convenience, were bringing her work that they should have been bringing to me all along, and finally told them so. I could be wrong, but I think it's less "You're doing a great job--so here's more work" and more "The closer/more familiar administrator won't do this stuff for us anymore, so that leaves you." Either way, I'll be busier. I still expect enough downtime to plug away on the novel(s), but sacrifices may have to be made in the blogging and feed-reading departments. We'll see.

You guys, I'm so going to get myself a laptop this year. I don't know how, or when, but it will happen. I shake my tiny fist at the heavens and declare that it will be so.

Happily Average in '07

I think I'm developing a mild girl-crush on Nigela Lawson. It's not over her food--although that don't hurt--but over the fact that, while gorgeous, she looks like she actually eats her own cooking. One thing that bugs me about the women of Food Network (namely Rachel Ray and Giada Whatserbighead--Sandra Lee's more about arts & crafts (and cocktail hour) than actual cooking, and we'd all be skinny if we ate Ellie Krieger's cooking) is how they can't possibly eat the fat-loaded stuff that they cook and be that thin, at least not without spending hours and hours at the gym, and then where does that leave time to cook anything? I call foul. I still drool over their cooking, but... eat a sandwich, Giada.

Nigela, on the other hand, clearly enjoys her food, and I'm not saying that in a mean way. She has curves, and she doesn't appear to have a problem with that, nor should she, because she looks fabulous. This is why I've decided she's my new role model.

New Year's Resolution the first: lighten up on myself.

I'm a curvy gal. I'm not obese, or even technically overweight according to my BMI; but I'm not a single-digit dress size, either. And I've decided to spend 2007 learning how to be cool with that.

My husband's cool with it. He thinks I'm a hottie. I'm still not quite to a place where I believe that, but I believe that he believes it, and that should be enough. As long as I'm healthy and the love of my life thinks I'm beautiful, then why the hell should it matter to me what Hollywood or the fashion industry or the Nutri-System commercials or the hot personal trainers at the gym think about the way I look? It shouldn't. Period.

NYR the second: stop buying into the BS.

I like to cook, and so does my husband. Even more, we love to eat. We're well on our way to becoming serious foodies, what with our willingness (and oft' discussed plans) to one day travel across three states just to try a certain hot dog place. I'm tired of feeling guilty about that. I hate that I can't enjoy a great meal without hating myself afterwards. I hate that I have to have a long and hard talk with myself whenever I'm offered a cookie at work. It's stupid, and it's such a waste.

I'm not talking about letting myself go. I'm still going to practice healthy eating habits, for the most part. I've been back in the Zone for four days now, and I feel better than I've felt in... well, than I've felt since before the endless parade of all-inclusive food that was our honeymoon. I actually enjoy eating healthy, and the challenge of making healthier versions of recipes. I enjoy going to the gym, too, once I make myself go. Working out keeps me from stressing out. It improves my mental focus and my attitude and my entire disposition. These are the reasons I'll keep it up. If I lose some weight in the process, bonus! But that won't be the point.

I'm not going to berate myself for the occasional splurge. I'm not going to deprive myself when we go out to a nice restaurant, and I'm not going to feel guilty about it the next morning. I'm not going to turn my nose up every time somebody offers me baked goods at the office. I'm going to accept that it's okay that I look like exactly what I am--somebody who knows how to enjoy a cookie. Because someone who can enjoy a cookie is someone who can enjoy life. Just look at Cookie Monster. That guy's never depressed.

NYR the third: stop comparing myself to other women.

I'm going to learn how to separate my sense of self-worth from the size of my waistband. I'm going to stop hurrying to get out of the gym locker room whenever it starts filling up with skinny girls because I don't feel worthy to take up so much of their space.

I'm going to remember that the only person making me miserable about my weight is me, and there's no good reason for it, and I need to knock it off. There is no law, written or otherwise, that says I'm not allowed to be happy until I lose fifteen more pounds.

NYR the last: give myself permission to be a contented average-sized woman. Stop obsessing about my weight and start focusing on all of the things that make my life terrific, and all of the reasons I'm worthy of such a life.

Do you have any new years goals or resolutions? Let's hear them in the comment trail.

Happy New Year, readers.

Love,
Jean

31.

This month's Real Simple (the only magazine I subscribe to these days--probably because it actually makes me feel capable of being a halfway decent housekeeper (and no, this is not a paid post. I pimp because I love)) had a neat suggestion for the new year: for each month, list 31 (or 30, or, er... 28, depending on the month) tasks, and assign each task it's own day. They needn't necessarily be chores or things that must be done; they can be fun and/or relaxing things, too (or even exclusively), like taking a nap or going to a museum you've been meaning to visit or buying a pretty knick-knack for the living room.

I'm liking this idea, although I'm not so sure about the scheduling a task per day bit. That would make me feel too pressured to stick to the schedule, and then I'd end up abandoning my list completely. I think I'd rather just make up a list of 31 things to pick from each day. Either way, this is right up there with the whole 15 minuts a day principle of getting things done.

Anyway. I'm not going to share my entire list (because I'm tired, and also because I haven't thought of a whole 31 things yet), but here's my top ten for January:

Must Do:


1. Finish my thank you cards. Finally.
   
   
2. Make a doctor's appointment. Also finally.
   
   
3. Make an appointment to get Fizzgigg's teeth cleaned. Also also finally.
   
   
4. Drag Matt to the bank and create a joint account under my new name. At last.
   
   
5. Shop for a second car. About friggin' time.
   
   Wanna Do:
   
   
6. Go on a date to a new (to us) restaurant.
   
   
7. Have Chinese take-out and a Firefly marathon.
   
   
8. Meet Tess for lunch.
   
   
9. Call people I haven't talked to in forever, like I was supposed to on Christmas day.
   
   
10. Cook and freeze a huge batch of Zone-friendly breakfast burritos.

I'm don't know yet what else is going on there, but I'm pretty sure it will include spending an entire day in bed like Matt and I did on Tuesday, snuggling and reading and napping and playing board games. That was awesome, and definitely worth repeating.

As you can see, I'm ready for the new year. I'm ready to have wedding plans and honeymoons and holidays out of the way to start fresh and get caught up on my life, remembering what it's like not to have the better part of an entire year consumed by planning for a single day. There's still aftermath to deal with--besides the thank you cards (which I'm still well within the bounds of etiquette not having sent them yet; according to the rules I have six months, and it's not quite been four) we also still have to put wedding announcements in the local papers and order prints of our wedding pictures. And there will be the moving, which we'll probably time to coincide with Matt's spring break (did I mention he's enrolled for the spring semester?), which leaves us two and a half months to go through our crap and get rid of anything we don't want to take with us. Expect eBay auctions.

...

That last thing's going on my list, too.