Happily Average in '07

I think I'm developing a mild girl-crush on Nigela Lawson. It's not over her food--although that don't hurt--but over the fact that, while gorgeous, she looks like she actually eats her own cooking. One thing that bugs me about the women of Food Network (namely Rachel Ray and Giada Whatserbighead--Sandra Lee's more about arts & crafts (and cocktail hour) than actual cooking, and we'd all be skinny if we ate Ellie Krieger's cooking) is how they can't possibly eat the fat-loaded stuff that they cook and be that thin, at least not without spending hours and hours at the gym, and then where does that leave time to cook anything? I call foul. I still drool over their cooking, but... eat a sandwich, Giada.

Nigela, on the other hand, clearly enjoys her food, and I'm not saying that in a mean way. She has curves, and she doesn't appear to have a problem with that, nor should she, because she looks fabulous. This is why I've decided she's my new role model.

New Year's Resolution the first: lighten up on myself.

I'm a curvy gal. I'm not obese, or even technically overweight according to my BMI; but I'm not a single-digit dress size, either. And I've decided to spend 2007 learning how to be cool with that.

My husband's cool with it. He thinks I'm a hottie. I'm still not quite to a place where I believe that, but I believe that he believes it, and that should be enough. As long as I'm healthy and the love of my life thinks I'm beautiful, then why the hell should it matter to me what Hollywood or the fashion industry or the Nutri-System commercials or the hot personal trainers at the gym think about the way I look? It shouldn't. Period.

NYR the second: stop buying into the BS.

I like to cook, and so does my husband. Even more, we love to eat. We're well on our way to becoming serious foodies, what with our willingness (and oft' discussed plans) to one day travel across three states just to try a certain hot dog place. I'm tired of feeling guilty about that. I hate that I can't enjoy a great meal without hating myself afterwards. I hate that I have to have a long and hard talk with myself whenever I'm offered a cookie at work. It's stupid, and it's such a waste.

I'm not talking about letting myself go. I'm still going to practice healthy eating habits, for the most part. I've been back in the Zone for four days now, and I feel better than I've felt in... well, than I've felt since before the endless parade of all-inclusive food that was our honeymoon. I actually enjoy eating healthy, and the challenge of making healthier versions of recipes. I enjoy going to the gym, too, once I make myself go. Working out keeps me from stressing out. It improves my mental focus and my attitude and my entire disposition. These are the reasons I'll keep it up. If I lose some weight in the process, bonus! But that won't be the point.

I'm not going to berate myself for the occasional splurge. I'm not going to deprive myself when we go out to a nice restaurant, and I'm not going to feel guilty about it the next morning. I'm not going to turn my nose up every time somebody offers me baked goods at the office. I'm going to accept that it's okay that I look like exactly what I am--somebody who knows how to enjoy a cookie. Because someone who can enjoy a cookie is someone who can enjoy life. Just look at Cookie Monster. That guy's never depressed.

NYR the third: stop comparing myself to other women.

I'm going to learn how to separate my sense of self-worth from the size of my waistband. I'm going to stop hurrying to get out of the gym locker room whenever it starts filling up with skinny girls because I don't feel worthy to take up so much of their space.

I'm going to remember that the only person making me miserable about my weight is me, and there's no good reason for it, and I need to knock it off. There is no law, written or otherwise, that says I'm not allowed to be happy until I lose fifteen more pounds.

NYR the last: give myself permission to be a contented average-sized woman. Stop obsessing about my weight and start focusing on all of the things that make my life terrific, and all of the reasons I'm worthy of such a life.

Do you have any new years goals or resolutions? Let's hear them in the comment trail.

Happy New Year, readers.

Love,
Jean

31.

This month's Real Simple (the only magazine I subscribe to these days--probably because it actually makes me feel capable of being a halfway decent housekeeper (and no, this is not a paid post. I pimp because I love)) had a neat suggestion for the new year: for each month, list 31 (or 30, or, er... 28, depending on the month) tasks, and assign each task it's own day. They needn't necessarily be chores or things that must be done; they can be fun and/or relaxing things, too (or even exclusively), like taking a nap or going to a museum you've been meaning to visit or buying a pretty knick-knack for the living room.

I'm liking this idea, although I'm not so sure about the scheduling a task per day bit. That would make me feel too pressured to stick to the schedule, and then I'd end up abandoning my list completely. I think I'd rather just make up a list of 31 things to pick from each day. Either way, this is right up there with the whole 15 minuts a day principle of getting things done.

Anyway. I'm not going to share my entire list (because I'm tired, and also because I haven't thought of a whole 31 things yet), but here's my top ten for January:

Must Do:


1. Finish my thank you cards. Finally.
   
   
2. Make a doctor's appointment. Also finally.
   
   
3. Make an appointment to get Fizzgigg's teeth cleaned. Also also finally.
   
   
4. Drag Matt to the bank and create a joint account under my new name. At last.
   
   
5. Shop for a second car. About friggin' time.
   
   Wanna Do:
   
   
6. Go on a date to a new (to us) restaurant.
   
   
7. Have Chinese take-out and a Firefly marathon.
   
   
8. Meet Tess for lunch.
   
   
9. Call people I haven't talked to in forever, like I was supposed to on Christmas day.
   
   
10. Cook and freeze a huge batch of Zone-friendly breakfast burritos.

I'm don't know yet what else is going on there, but I'm pretty sure it will include spending an entire day in bed like Matt and I did on Tuesday, snuggling and reading and napping and playing board games. That was awesome, and definitely worth repeating.

As you can see, I'm ready for the new year. I'm ready to have wedding plans and honeymoons and holidays out of the way to start fresh and get caught up on my life, remembering what it's like not to have the better part of an entire year consumed by planning for a single day. There's still aftermath to deal with--besides the thank you cards (which I'm still well within the bounds of etiquette not having sent them yet; according to the rules I have six months, and it's not quite been four) we also still have to put wedding announcements in the local papers and order prints of our wedding pictures. And there will be the moving, which we'll probably time to coincide with Matt's spring break (did I mention he's enrolled for the spring semester?), which leaves us two and a half months to go through our crap and get rid of anything we don't want to take with us. Expect eBay auctions.

...

That last thing's going on my list, too.

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

I'm thinking about The Hero Factor, about the merits of restructuring the chapters into "episodes," each with four acts and its own climax and resolution. Kind of like the way we did with Dancing Lessons. I don't think we really tried to (or even thought about) sticking to a four-act structure, but we did try to make each chapter feel as much like an episode of the show as possible, and that got a pretty good reader response.

It seems like it would be a good gimmick for this book, what with the main protag being a TV star and all. Then again, it might be too gimmicky. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like a good way to tell this story.

Hmmm.

Okay, I signed this blog up for Pay Per Post. It will basically pay me to write (and blog) my own ads for products that I get to select myself. Hopefully this will be less obnoxious than plastering ads everywhere, and I'm hoping that in addition to generating some revenue, it will also give me some non-fiction writing practice.

In other news, the slow week I had anticipated (seeing as how half the company is on vacation) has turned out to be pretty busy so far, and I'm told that things are going to stay pretty busy for a while. I need to get better at managing my time, like, right now if I'm still going to be able to squeeze both blogging and writing into my workday. Hopefully things will slow down enough the next couple of days to let me write up some blog articles that I can dole out over the next week or so. And, y'know, work on my novel. That would be nice.

Knit-pimpin'

CONTRIBUTORS WANTED!

Got a question about a complicated stitch? Need help working a tough pattern? Something else about knitting you've always wanted to know? Send your questions to jeanjeanieDOTknits AT gmailDOTcom and I'll post them over at Jeanjeanie Knits. I'll give it my best shot, but if I can't answer it, I bet one of my readers can.

Like to give knitting advice? Chime in in the comment trail if you have any to share. Even if I've answered a question, another perspective never hurts. Make this blog interactive and interact!

Want to be a guest blogger? Show off your projects, share patterns, review or recommend knitting books or shops, or maybe just ruminate on the joys (or the sorrows) of playing around with yarn? Send your article in the body of an e-mail to the address above. Please, no attachments; if you have a picture to share, give me an address where it's uploaded that I can link back to. In exchange you'll get a byline and a link back to your web site or blog, and the joy of sharing your work with other yarn addicts.

How Do I Suck?

Here's how:

Christmas e-Cards I meant to send: 6

I was going to send them Friday afternoon, knowing full well that everybody with any vacation time left would be taking off early and leaving me with plenty of downtime until 5:00. But then at 2:00 a company-wide e-mail announced that they were closing the office RIGHT NOW and asked us to please leave, k'thx. Merry Christmas! Get out! I barely had time to throw an irreverent Christmas video on the blog in between frantically texting Matt to please hurry up and come get me.

Christmas e-cards actually sent: 0

Christmas phone calls I meant to make: 5

Matt's Scrooge company made him work on Christmas day. That sucked in a lot of ways, but I consoled myself with plans to use the time between the family who showed up for Christmas dinner calling it a day and Matt coming home to catch up with people I haven't talked to in forever (fennie and sunny, you guys were top of the list). But then one nephew Ash, age three-and-a-half, decided that he wanted me, and ONLY me, to play with him and his new Thomas the Tank Engine Duplo set. And play "boingy" (a "game" where I lie on my back and bounce him in the air on my ankles until my legs just can't take it anymore). And play "horsey" (self-explanatory, I hope). And play a half-dozen other exhausting games that I felt I couldn't say no to, since I hardly ever see the kid since I went back to work full-time. By the time he and the rest of the company said goodbye, I had to go lie down "for a few minutes," which turned out to be about three hours.

Christmas phone calls I actually made: 0

Hand-knitted Christmas gifts I meant to give: 3

Early November I started a sweater for my husband, a scarf for my S-I-L, and planned to make her an accompanying pair of mittens. At least I finished the scarf.

Hand-knitted Christmas gifts finished and given: 1

Christmas Dinner side dishes I meant to contribute: 1

Mom asked me to make the roasted cauliflower recipe I got from Keckler, and I agreed. Then by the time Matt and I exchanged our gifts, I saw him off to work and got dressed and ready for my day, I headed down to Mom's kitchen only to see that she had already prepped the cauliflower and stuck it in the oven.

Christmas Dinner contributions I made: 0, unless you count introducing the recipe in the first place. And the "recipe" is so simple that I don't really feel too guilty for not handling it fast enough for Mom's liking.

Unhealthy Christmas treats consumed: 50 bazillion jillion.

And now I'm off to the gym.

How do you make Rudolph even more un-PC?

Cross it with Pulp Fiction, that's how:



Merry Christmas, folks!

Not-fun things (and some fun things, too)

Know what's fun? Waking up at 2 AM feeling like somebody's jabbing a hot poker into your eye, that's what's fun. Wait, no... that's actually the opposite of fun. Stupid allergies. And my eye is still swollen. Bleah.

Know what else is not fun? Disillusionment destroying nostalgia, in the form of watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and really paying attention for the first time instead of merely having it on as happy holiday background static and realizing what a sexist bigot is Santa Claus. I always kind of understood that about the reindeer, but I can forgive them, because they're deer. But that is not a Santa I'd want as a role model for my kids. "Jingle jingle jangle, I'm so jolly! Now get your bitch ass in the kitchen, mama, and knit a cozy to cover up that abomination's red nose. Ho ho ho, what a freak. He can't pull my sleigh because he's different." Sheez.

And don't even get me started on Yukon Cornelius, chasing the newly crippled Abominable Snowman over the cliff just because he could. Yeah, you're lucky Bumbles bounce, you insane suicidal bastard.

At least Hermy the elf turned out to be delightfully snarky, so I'll overlook the fact that by the end he's pulling teeth and opening up a practice with no formal dentistry training whatsoever.

Speaking of awesomely un-PC cartoons of yore, Cityrag has a list of links to online videos of the animation industry's selected 50 Greatest Cartoons (via Boing Boing). It's a hard list to argue with, although I would have given The Rabbit of Seville a higher slot.

THF update

I posted a revised Chapter Seven over at the writing blog. I think this re-write gives a much stronger sense of the Pooka's character. Of course, I'd love to hear your opinion on the matter, because I'm not exactly objective.

Three-and-a-half Shopping Days To Go...

Got any last minute Christmas shopping left to do? Got any knitters on your list? Then you could do a lot worse than my Holiday Shopping Guide for Knitters.

Genesis 9:13

There was a rainbow on the way home from work last night, its two ends sprouting up from the ground on either side of the highway and then disappearing into the low clouds. I tried to take pictures, but my camera phone would only capture the red part, so you'll have to take my word that it looked pretty cool.

I love rainbows. They fascinate the heck out of me. I find it immensely neat that a beam of sunlight and a droplet of water can make something so beautiful. One of the coolest things I've ever seen was a double rainbow, also on the way home from work several years ago. The one on top was a mirror image of the one beneath it, and it was awesome.

Beyond that, I just find them reassuring. I was always taught that rainbows are a sign of God's promise that everything is going to be okay. Growing up, most of the rainbows I saw followed particularly scary storms. Our neighbor, whose house looked out over a cliff, would call my sister and me to come look whenever they appeared in the sky over the lake below. We'd go stare at the rainbow until it would fade, breathing in the clean, rain-scented air and feeling grateful to have made it through another storm. When you live in the middle of Tornado Alley, that's saying quite a lot. Rainbows are comforting to me. They're a cosmic reminder not to worry.

I saw a rainbow the evening I met my husband. I was rushing home from (as usual) work to get ready for our blind date. It was raining hard, I was stressed by the wet roads and the traffic, and also nervous as hell about the date. Matt and I had already exchanged a few dozen e-mails, and logged several hours of phone time, but I was still terrified to finally meet him. What if he wasn't as likeable in person as he seemed on the phone? Or what if he was, but the attraction just wasn't there? Even worse, what if it WAS there, on my part, but not on his? What if I disappointed him? What if he disappointed me?

Close to home, I rounded a curve and the rain let up, the roads cleared, and there before me, peeking out from under the clouds, was the tail of a rainbow. It wasn't the most spectacular one I've ever seen, but it was enough. At the sight of it I was overcome with a sense that everything was going to work out.

I'd say everything worked out just fine.

So what have I been up to all day?

That would be this right here. Yes, despite the fact that not a single soul answered my knitting poll, I went ahead and started a (hopefully interactive) knitting blog.

I'll be straight with you guys. The thing is, we're about to become a single-income household when Matt leaves his job at the end of the month to go back to school, which means I get to be the breadwinner for a few years. So I'm looking for possible sources of extra income. I really don't want to plaster ads up all over this blog, or my writing blog, so I figured, how about a specialty blog? One that can feature appropriate specialty ads? Sounds good. And what else am I passionate about? Knitting.

I don't expect to make much, especially at first. Really, I'll be thrilled if it pulls in enough to finance a night out with my husband once a month or so. Thus, I would appreciate it muchly if you kind folks would head over there and check it out and click on an ad or two. I'd appreciate it even muchlier if you would help me spread the word and pimp the new blog. Thank you kindly.

Tomorrow, we'll be back to business as usual.

Keeyoot!

Matt just sent this pic of Fizzgigg, fresh from the groomer. Once I picked myself up after almost dying from the cuteness I had to share.

And here I said I was done with school.

We all should have known better.

The other day I came thisclose to signing up for an online course on web design & development through my alma mater. I stopped just short of clicking the "payment options" button when common sense grabbed hold of me, gave me a gentle shake, and reminded me that I'm currently sans home computer, which might tend to make it a bit difficult to do the homework. Grumble and sigh.

Next semester, I'm signing up. I might take a graphics design class, too, if they offer it online. Why? Because my company will pay for my continuing education, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to take full advantage of it this time around (the last time I worked for a company with a tuition reimbursement program, I kept putting it off, and then when I finally got around to trying to go back to school on the company's dime they gave me a heads up that I would be getting a pink slip and told me not to bother applying for it. Lesson learned).

The other reason is that I'm now wisened enough to understand the need for an enjoyable way to pay the bills; that even if/when I finally manage to scale the walls surrounding PubLand, I'll most likely join the ranks of the hardworking, job-having, low-to-mid-list peasants. I understand that my chances of making it into the Castle of the Best Selling Scribes to hang out and write full time with King Stephen and his courtiers are right up there with getting struck by lightening while waving my winning lottery ticket around. And wow, did that metaphor take on a life of its own. But the point is, I know now the necessity of having a good day job, and I really don't want to have to handle paper and people for the rest of my working life.

It's not that I don't like my current job. I'm immensely blessed to be working with a group of incredibly nice and laid back people, for a company with awesome benefits that expresses genuine concern for its employees' well-being. Right now I'm in a pretty good situation; but I know that it only takes one jerkweed to sprout up and choke all the joy out of an office. So I'm hedging my bets, because really, things here are just too good to remain the status quo. Even if it does last, while I may love the situation, the work itself isn't anything to get excited about, and I can't really see myself doing it for more than five years without suffering some pretty serious ennui.

Ideally, by that point Matt will be done with school and making enough money to support a whole family so that I can stay home and write and raise babies; but we don't live in an ideal world, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that it's good to be prepared for less than ideal circumstances, and education and training never hurt. Especially when they're free.

I've made stabs at web design in the past. I was fairly good at it, considering the limited tools at my disposal, and I enjoyed the heck out of it. There's something akin to writing in web design. I'm not going to be so pretentious as to say a web page layout tells a story, but it still comes down to using language to shape something for other people to enjoy, which is probably why I got so much out of it as a hobby. There's just something addictive about creating something, having control over its shape and substance. That probably also explains why I'm so into knitting.

Anyway. Much as I like tinkering with web pages, I've been out of practice for long enough that the web has passed me by and left my HTML and CSS1 skills in the dust. So if I can get up to speed, especially without it costing me a thing, well, then, why the hell not? Even if I never get published, I'll always think of writing as my career. But if I could eventually have a second career in web design, that I not only enjoy but that actually makes money? That would be pretty keen, too.

Reader Poll: Any knitters in the house?

I'm brewing an idea. But first, a little feasibility study:

Crud. I tried to insert a one-click poll, but Blogger spit it back out. So we'll do it the old-fashioned way. Please answer the following in the comments (if you're reading this in syndication, please be so kind as to click over just this once):

Calling all knitters or knitter-wannabes! Please let me know if:

1. You read knitting blogs

2. You run a knitting blog

3. You ever seek knitting advice

4. You ever give knitting advice

5. You would be interested in reading/contributing to a knitting advice blog

6. You would be willing to pimp such a blog

That's all. Thank you for your time.

Me, a Guest Blogger

Adult ADD and Money posted a short essay by yours truly on how I trained myself to be (more or less) financially responsible.

When Writing Plans Go Awry--oops, wrong era!

I've discovered, much to my astonishment, that I've got a chick lit novel lurking in my brain. No magic, no vampires or fairies, no tragically epic or epically tragic romance, just a woman with failed ambitions who changes directions in life and learns some Very Important Lessons about life and love, and hopefully draws a few laughs in the process. It made itself known to me over the weekend, tempting me with its siren song to join it and forsake all others.

Of course, I'm at the point in my current novel where this always happens, about the same point I was at in my first attempt to write it when I thought, "Hey, maybe I should write a romance novel!" and set it aside to do just that, before setting that aside to focus on the romance that had become my life. I always get almost to the halfway point and then get A Better Idea, or at least a New And Therefore More Attractive To My Short Attenion Span Idea, and decide it's so good that I'd better get started on it before I forget and it's gone forever, and this is exactly why I never finish a manuscript.

The New Idea is made even more tempting by the Crapometer reader comments I received telling me that my little faerie tale is so derivative and unoriginal that it's not even worth telling. This despite the fact that those comments were only a few amidst a dozen or so more encouraging notes (and as you can probably tell by this post's title, I'm more annoyed by the personal nitpick comments than by the unoriginal accusations. But still, ow). They say it takes at least seven positive comments to undo the effects of a negative one; I think it takes a lot more than that to assuage the writer ego. Even so, I think my little faerie tale is worth telling, if for nothing else than the simple fact that it wants to be told, and both getting it out of my system and completing a damn novel will do me worlds of good, even if nobody but my friends ever reads it.

One unexpectedly useful thing I think this whole hook-writing business has taught me, though, is that writing hooks is a good way of shaping a story. If you put the hook first it becomes a mini-outline and helps to narrow the focus of what, precisely, the book is about. So I wrote a hook for the New Idea and filed it away to revisit after I'm done drafting my faerie tale. Simply telling that much of the story satisfied it enough that it's content now to wait its turn. And I think writing a hook for an idea is also a good way to tell if you really have a story there. So useful. So helpful. So much more thanks due the mighty Miss Snark. If I kiss her rear-end, it's because she's earned it.

Anyway, back to the chick lit that's suddenly infecting my brain. What's that all about? It's not really a genre I go out of my way to read. Or watch. I mean, I only watched both Bridget Jones' Diaries on cable, and only for the Firth factor. I never read the books or any of the dozens of knock-offs. Okay, there's Mary Janice Davison's Undead And... series, but at least that has vampires, so it still fits comfortably in my urban fantasy/horror cozy blanket of reading pleasures. But then there are also Pamie's novels, the first of which I bought mainly out of blogger solidarity and a lingering sense of MBTV loyalty and, by the way, LOVED, and the second of which I finally got around to buying yesterday. And there's my recent addiction to the ongoing chick-lit-disguised-as-medical-drama that is Grey's Anatomy. So I guess it's not that weird, being both a member of the target demographic and having fairly recent personal, relatable experience with the whole 'round-thirty-and-still-single dynamic that seems to form the foundation of chick lit, that my subconscious would start forming ideas that fall into that category. I don't think I need to be alarmed that this signifies a change of tastes or, horrors, that I've attained a certain level of maturity.

Whatever it is, at least I know what I'll be doing after The Hero Factor is finished.

Crapometer Ho

Like a good little Snarkling, I fired off my hook as close to 7:00 (CST) last night as my connection would let me. Then around 11 I began to worry that it was awful, she'd hate it and I'd never get my first pages read, so in my peppermint scnapps enhanced panic I sent in a revision. When my mom kicked me off her computer and kicked me out soon after, I went to bed fretting that sending an unasked for revision would get me disqualified from the whole thing.

I guess not, though, because my original hook is posted at #63, along with her comments (and those of some of her readers). Miss Snark herself called it not half bad, but admitted that she just doesn't get my genre. The reader comments are mostly positive so far--a couple of accusations of being unoriginal and ripping off Galaxy Quest (a movie that I'd honestly forgotten all about until they mentioned it, though I'm sure it's stuck in my subconscious somewhere providing some influence) mixed with suggestions on how to make it more original and a few commenters even declaring they'd at least give the first few pages a try if they didn't decide to read the whole book then and there. So all in all I'm feeling pretty good about it. No idea yet whether Miss Snark will let me submit my story pages, but even if she doesn't, at least I've finally figured out how to write a decent query hook.

As for the revision, I'll never know whether she'd have liked it better--she just e-mailed me to let me know it's been deleted because I forgot to grant her permission to post it. I'd berate the schnapps for causing my memory lapse, but they made my hot chocolate so much tastier that I can't get mad at them. Anyway, for posterity's sake, here's my second hook.

Michael Chambers is a nice guy. Five years as a leading man in a hit TV series hasn't managed to drive the nice out of him. So when his ex needs a place to stay while her apartment's fumigated, of course he says yes. She can even bring her cat. When the cat runs away, Michael goes out to look for it, because that's the kind of guy he is. That is, until the cat transforms into a perfect double of Michael and delivers him to a militant faerie princess who wants to borrow him for a little spell. Michael may be nice, but he's not a putz.

After refusing the princess, he's free to go; but he finds getting home is more than a simple matter of calling a cab when it turns out nobody can see or hear him--at least, nobody human. He's trapped in a version of Los Angeles where ogres roam the subways, faeries are technology junkies, and the opposing faerie courts are preparing to go to war--a war that will naturally have devastating consequences on the entire human race. As Michael learns the stakes, he realizes that what's needed is not a nice guy actor. What's needed is a badass hero. What's needed is his alter ego, Simon Caufield, a supernatural superhero with an uncanny ability to both get his way and get things done.

Good thing a certain princess knows just the spell to make Simon real.

Hooray!

The net nanny is no longer convinced that Blogger Beta = teh eevol pr0n. Sometimes it pays to sit back and wait for other people to take care of things.

My company's net nanny has somehow decided that Blogger Beta is a porn site and has restricted access. I have no idea how to go about setting it straight. Hopefully it will get sorted out in the near future. In the mean time, I'm attempting to post from Google Docs. *crosses fingers*

I can't get too upset, though, because this morning I got called into my supervisor's office and told that they're bumping everybody's salary up to meet the national average. I walked out of there with a pretty significant raise. Woo and hoo.

Now I have to go take back the dress I bought for my grandneice for Christmas--turns out it's too small. She's nine months old and already wearing one-year-old sizes. That baby girl has turned out to be one healthy premie, y'all.

Um. squee?

I did not sleep well at all last night. Neither did Matt. He tossed and turned, feeling too hot and unable to get comfortable. I had leg cramps and over-thinky brain. We were both too irritable to let romance take its course, so finally he moved out to the living room where it's colder and I hunkered down in the middle of the bed and read until my brain got tired enough to be quiet and go to sleep.

It'll be interesting to see how the lack of sleep affects today's writing output. Sometimes I do my best work when I'm sleep deprived; but more often it just exacerbates my ADD and I can't focus for doo-doo. Maybe I'll get lucky and today will swing toward the former.

~~~

Thanks for the input on my hook. The feedback I've received so far has been extremely helpful.

~~~

I can't believe nobody (save garnigal) has shared in my Buffy: Season 8 squee. Is it because you're all avoiding spoilers? Is it that you can't get excited over a comic book, even one that's written by Joss himself and has been declared an official continuation of the show? Or is it simply that you've all accomplished what I've been unable to do and have finally gotten over Buffy? Seriously, you guys, what gives? It's no fun to squee alone.

A Hook, a Chapter, and a Crapometer

MyNoWriMo is off to a pretty good start--two days in and I'm already approaching the ballpark neighborhood of where I had wanted to be by the end of NaNoWriMo. I'm about to complete another chapter--the first half is posted here, and unless I get bombarded with actual job-related work this afternoon, I'll have the rest of it up before I leave the office today.

I think I've changed my mind back about the Crapometer, mainly because I realize that even if my manuscript won't be ready to shop around for at least another year, this particular opportunity won't come around again, and besides, it's not like I've anything to lose. And it doesn't hurt that a hook came to me this morning while I was reading some examples that Miss Snark linked to, one that sums up all of the important aspects of my story in barely over a hundred words and only three sentences.

Having failed to learn my lesson last time, I'm posting it here with the caveat that any feedback should be constructive. Again, that's constructive, as in useful, helpful, encouraging, possibly even with suggestions for improvement. "Your hook sucks and so does the idea it rode in on, and by the way, you suck, too," and any variations thereof, don't qualify. Now that we're clear on that, here's the hook:

When he goes out to search for his ex-girlfriend's runaway cat, Hollywood actor Michael Chambers finds instead a shape-shifting doppelganger intent on stealing both his life and said ex-girlfriend. The shape-shifter works for a faction of militant faeries who want to cast a spell to literally turn Michael into his TV character, The Mediator, a supernatural superhero who they believe has the power to prevent a faerie war that would destroy both their world and Michael's. When the spell goes awry, it's up to Michael to transform himself from pampered celebrity to hero and prevent an inter-dimensional apocalypse, all while trying to get his life back. Stupid cat.

I'll keep working on it. I think the end could use a little more punch. Any feedback of the aforementioned helpful variety is welcome and appreciated.

Caught up! ...mostly.

I've managed to whittle the three big stacks of crap that were littering my desk at the beginning of the week down to one wee short stack of things with which I'm not entirely certain need to be done. I'll work on whittling that stack down even further today, but there are some things in there that my brain is just too tired to deal with just yet. At any rate, it's a tiny enough stack that it has no more guilt attached and therefore it won't disctract me come Monday. And what's Monday? you ask, having already forgotten. Why, Monday, my dears, is the first day of MyNoWriMo. So once I've done as much as I can stand with the short stack I'll be going over my novel's outline in preparation, fleshing it out and getting back into my story head.

Have I mentioned how badly I want to buy myself a laptop? I'm so very tempted to go put one on my credit card with the recently raised limit. I'm not going to, mind, but I'm tempted. I need to keep reminding myself how much more badly I want to eventually own a house and how necessary it is to repair my credit rating for that to happen. I totally sound like commercial for the Fannie Mae Foundation, but that's how it is. I'll just have to keep muddling through without a laptop and remember that writers have written for millenia before the laptop was invented.

Speaking of being able to afford things, I printed off a Social Security Disability Application Starter Kit for Matt. He's never even tried to apply for disability, figuring he didn't qualify because he has a job; but considering he has both an obvious physical disability AND a chronic illness and only has the stamina to work part time and there's a pretty limited range of what he's physically able to do... I think it's worth a shot. I went to the site and filled out a questionnaire and I think we qualify for at least enough to allow us to loosen our belts a little every month. That would be nice.

Oh Buffy Squee, How I've Missed Thee

TV Guide has a new interview with Joss Whedon. I haven't had time to read it yet, but I think it's safe to assume it has spoilers for Astonishing X-Men and various other projects, including and especially Buffy Season Eight.

From the latter there is also artwork and full pages from the first issue written by Joss himself. The lettering is teeny and tiny and almost impossible to read on a screen, but somebody over at Whedonesque went to the trouble of transcribing the dialogue and making it legible. It's pretty spoilery, but I will say this: at least one of my fics and everything that upset me about a certain S5 AtS episode has now been Jossed by a single throwaway line. You have to scroll through the comments if you want to see what I'm talking about. The squee, she is restored.

And it has to wait until March! Grrr, arrgh indeed!

The comments section of this post is reserved for discussion of The Spoiler In Question, so join me in there if you want to share my squee.

Squee!

Personality Quiz Spam

I don't post quiz results very often, but this one amused me. I already knew I was an INFP, but I really don't think I'm quite as bad as all that.

Via bojojoti:

Almost Perfect- INFP 6% Extraversion, 86% Intuition, 26% Thinking, 33% Judging

So, you want to make the world a better place? Too bad it's never gonna happen. Of all the types, you have to be one of the hardest to find fault in. You have a selfless and caring nature. You're a good listener and someone who wants to avoid conflict. You genuinely desire to do good. Of course, these all add up to an incredibly overpowered conscience which makes you feel guilty and responsible when anything goes wrong. Of course, it MUST be your fault EVERYTIME. Though you're constantly on a mission to find the truth, you have no use for hard facts and logic, which is a source of great confusion for those of us with brains. Despite this, in a losing argument, you're not above spouting off inaccurate fact after fact in an effort to protect your precious values. You're most probably a perfectionist, which in this case, is a bad thing. Any group work is destined to fail because of your incredibly high standards. Disregard what I said before. You're just easy to find fault in as everyone else! Luckily, you're generally very hard on yourself, meaning I don't need to waste my precious time insulting you. Instead, just find all your own faults and insult yourself. ***************** If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this. ***************** The other personality types are as follows... Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on Extraversion You scored higher than 93% on Intuition You scored higher than 8% on Thinking You scored higher than 17% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Scary Mary!

I always thought there were some pretty disturbing aspects to Mary Poppins.

Red Toenails and Christmas Poo

On the way home last night I made a detour to Ulta, where I not only took care of all of the women on my Christmas list (save S-I-L, who's getting hand-knit goodies), but also scored myself a fancy set of gift-with-purchase hurricane candle holders and a free bottle of O.P.I. nail lacquer. Sweet! Somebody's going to be giving herself some shimmery red toenails this weekend, and that somebody will surely be me.

If the all the recent snow and my first round of Christmas shopping wasn't enough to get me in the holiday spirit, SomaFM's station Xmas in Frisco is doing a pretty good job of giving me that extra push. Because it's just not Christmas until you've heard "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo." Obviously.

Unrelatedly, Matt and I have decided to start saving up (both money and vacation days) for a European cruise. I don't know whether we'd rather take a trans-Atlantic cruise and fly back from Europe, or fly there and back for a Mediterranean cruise, either of which would be awesome. But it'll be at least a couple of years before we're able to do it, and who knows what the choices will be by then. At any rate, it's something to shoot for, and I think it'll be a pretty good last hurrah for our coupledom before we start trying for a family and settle in for 20 years or so of domestic road trips all centered around national/theme parks.

Speaking of Matt: do you know what I'd like to write? I'd like to write a children's book that helps familiarize small children with the idea of disabled adults and helps them to react appropriately when confronted with them in public. Or better yet, helps their parents react appropriately. That would be a useful book. If I don't write it, I hope somebody out there does.

I've got some quiz- and YouTube-spam coming up later, but for now I'd better get some work done. Ciao for now.

Housekeeping

Randomly (except not really):

~ I think this entire week is going to be about catching up and taking care of business. I figure that the powers that be here at the office will smile a little more kindly on all of my recent absenteeism if I can show that I'm, y'know, actually getting my work done instead of blowing it off to write. In whatever spare time I can find, I'll be taking care of end-of-year personal crap and getting any necessary online Christmas shopping out of the way. All of which will free me up for...

~ MyNoWriMo! Seeing as how November did its ever loving best to beat me down and keep me away from my novel, once I'm caught up I'm going to declare the rest of December (excluding a few days off around Christmas) to be my own personal novel writing month. If I can't make 50K by the end of THIS month, then... well, then I suppose I shall cry. But rest assured, dear readers, that once MyNoWriMo gets underway you can look forward not only to more chapter updates at the writing blog, but also fewer in-depth and loquacious posts from me here. Oh yes, and a return to Gratuitous Marsters Picspam. And there was much rejoicing!

~ I think I've decided to forgo the Crapometer this time around. Like I said, my manuscript is nowhere near where I thought it would be by now, and even if it was, it would still be about a year away from being ready to query anybody. I think my time will be better spent, for now, focusing on how to tell the story instead of how to sell it. But as with previous Crapometers, I expect to learn a lot by observation, even without participation.

~ And in news that's totally unrelated to anythin