<$Friday, September 14, 2007$>
The Cost of Fear
| I finally took care of my financial housekeeping errands today. I succeeded in lowering my cell phone bill by $10 by switching to a plan with fewer minutes (I couldn't switch to a lower text-messaging plan, though--turns out the ones advertised on the site are for single plans and we would have had to buy one for each line. The unlimited plan we've got is the only one that applies to multiple lines, so we've still got the best available deal there). The only drawback is that we had to agree to a new two-year contract, but we've been pretty happy with T-Mobile, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'm also having paperwork sent to us to add my husband as a joint account holder (as opposed to an authorized user) on all of my credit cards except Citibank--they "don't do" joint accounts any longer. That's probably a good thing for us, though, as that's the one with the largest balance, and that might negatively impact Husband's credit score instead of helping it. While I was at it I asked Discover to please stop sending me convenience checks that I have to shred. I wish I could blame lack of time for me taking so long to take care of this stuff, but that wouldn't be honest. The truth is that I kept putting it off out of fear. Fear that I wouldn't get the answer I wanted. Fear of rejection, I guess? It's silly, I know. The worse that could have happened was that I'd be told no, and nothing would change. The best was that I would get everything I asked for, and save money. In actuality I didn't get everything I was hoping for, but I still knocked a significant amount of money off my phone bill, and made sure my husband's credit score won't be negatively affected by the new FICO policy. It all turned out well. So why on earth did it take me so long to just do it? I've always been shy by nature. I'm an introvert, and I have a tendency to feel like it's just too much trouble to stand up for myself or ask for what I want. I'm aware of this, and aware that it's often a silly reason not to be my own advocate, and am usually pretty good at not letting this stand in my way. When I do, like I did this week, it's infuriating. Putting it off didn't really hurt anything this time; T-Mobile made my new plan retroactive to keep my billing cycle current. But it makes me think about all of the times it did make a difference. How many fees have I been charged simply because I waited too long to take action? How much money have I lost over the years because I was too timid to haggle, or simply to ask for a better deal? I have a feeling that knowing the answer would make me sick. If this tendency affects you, too, it's not that difficult to overcome, if you really want to. Just remember this: the worst that can happen is that they'll say no. And that affects you how, exactly? Other than causing a moment's worth of irritation and frustration, that passes, and you're right where you started. It's not like you actually lose anything, other than maybe five minutes of your time. The worst that could happen is that nothing happens. Is that terrible enough to keep you from trying, when the best that could happen is that you'll get your way? And the reality is that you usually end up somewhere in the middle? For me, it's not. And telling myself this is usually enough to spur me into action. Usually. This week, I'm not sure why that took so long to work. I guess I was just too tired to battle myself. Battling my own irrational fear is the hard part. Once that's conquered, the rest is pretty easy. Labels: advice, credit cards, money management |
Thanks for sharing. This is a personal look at how uncofortableness can shape the things we do(or don't do).
I can totally relate. I was painfully shy growing up, and have been learning to be more friendly and comfortable since college. Being balanced by my wife has been a huge help.
I know that I still get crippled by the uncomfortableness sometimes. In those times I like to try and pull motivation from things that I care deeply about. Frame calling the cable company by thinking about your child's future, or your dream of working from home, or your dream to be able to give away money to those who need it. Remembering to live deeper than the surface often helps me to get over the proverbial hump.
I understand. Until quite recently I was very shy about such things, or scared. I still am, in many respects.
Fortunately, I got a job working as a receptionist/AA and have to do a lot of phone work. This includes calling people on behalf of the company and asking them to remove fees or change plans, etc. As you say, the worst that can happen is nothing. And I'm not doing it for me, somehow representing a company is less scary.
Now, in my personal life I think "Oh, this is nothing compared to work!" It's very nice.
Thank you for posting this! I can really relate. I procrastinated on transferring our credit card balance to a 0% card until we were already paying interest on our original card. The reason? I hate making phone calls.
If I had made the call sooner, I would have saved us a month's worth of interest.
I've had a crazy, crazy week and haven't had time to answer comments properly (and still don't, I'm afraid), but I want to say thanks to everybody for commenting. I think it helps us all to realize we're not the only one dealing with this problem. I think "phone phobia" is a lot more common than people realize.
I totally know how you feel. I procrastinated about calling my credit card companies to get lower interest rates for months and months. I'm still procrastinating about calling and rolling my 403(b) account into an IRA since I haven't been with that company for over 2 years! I don't know what my problem is. I'd like to say it's fear, and to an extent it is. But I also think it is feeling overwhelmed about the amount of research I need to do in these situations. I know it doesn't take much time, but it feels like it does. Maybe that means I need to be better organized with my finances so that I can find all the paper work I need. I don't know. Thanks for the post - it's nice to know I'm not alone.
p.s. I just started a new blog called "In the Red." It's at inthered2007.blogspot.com. Stop by if you get a chance.